Parents often read or hear messages regarding sexual abuse in children. Warnings are given about the dangers at school, online and even at home. But truth is, most parents don’t really know how to talk to their kids if they suspect that sexual abuse is occurring.
If you think your child might be a victim, remember that you have to talk to him directly. Pick a good time and place. The most important thing here is that the child is comfortable. And never ever make the mistake of asking your child in front of the suspected offender.
In your fundamentalist conversation, ask if he has felt that someone has been making physical contact with him in a wrong or uncomfortable kind of way. Sexual abuse can actually make the victim feel good, so don’t ask the child if someone has been hurting him as this will not get you the information you want. Then mention the incident that caused you to be concerned. Whatever the incident is, ask your child about it. However, make sure you ask without judgment, and make it a point not to shame your child as you raise your questions. You need to be clear to him that he hasn’t done anything wrong and that you just need him to provide more information.
One effective tactic you can use is delving into the subject of secrets. Usually, abusers will talk their victims into keeping the experience “a secret,” and they may actually ask the kids to promise. Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbExdOi9Qe0 for more tips in preventing child abuse.
Trust is the most important thing that you need from your child. He should know that you are always willing to listen to him talk about an uncomfortable experience with a certain person. Stay true to your word. If you say you’re interested, show that you are.
All kids should know that they can always say no to people who are making them uncomfortable, whether or not there is physical contact. Make it known to your child that you will not be angry or mad if he does so. Kids usually think that is wrong for them to tell someone not to touch them. Remind them that there certain parts of their body that are private, and that people who show their private parts to them must be avoided. More importantly, they should know that they have to tell a trusted adult from this site as soon as they can.
Parents should take the time to learn about the signs of child sexual abuse such as excessive interest in sexual matters, social withdrawal and the like. Early detection means a more effective therapy and less damage to the child’s well-being.
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